People usually listen to us with the intention of answering and putting their opinion forward. In counselling, we listen with the intention of understanding and seeing the world through your window. Counselling can ensure that you feel heard, give you a space to think and talk about your emotional issues. It’s a place where you can completely be yourself without being judged. Counselling can help you find the source of your problems and the courage and strength to face them. Counselling is about having somebody there, walking beside you on your journey.
Football can be a very lonely place with pressure to perform from within the club, the media, fans and family and friends. We are hearing of more and more footballers suffering with feelings of depression, anxiety, panic and thoughts of suicide.
We all have distorted thinking in one way or another. I know I certainly have. We are human! However, it can sometimes lead to stress and anxiety and we can become overwhelmed by negative thinking. We can challenge those thoughts and distortions once we become aware that we are doing it. Next time you find yourself thinking this way, just catch that thought and challenge it. Ask how appropriate it is, Is there enough evidence to make that thought completely true? By keep challenging these thoughts, we can decrease the power of them and actually start to embrace the positives in the situation.
Many people see crying as a sign of weakness and men in particular (although not exclusively) are brought up with the stigma of big boys don’t cry and men shouldn’t show their emotions. Much of this again goes back to parenting and the generations of beliefs that have been passed down to us and how society itself tries to avoid emotions and places men and women in certain boxes. As a child, if you fell and hurt your knee, you may think crying is weak if you were told to not be a baby and be a big boy/girl, brush it off.
Person centred therapy is a talking therapy. It’s not about giving advice but rather about giving you a safe place to explore your feelings and bring about autonomy. The therapy uses three core conditions, empathy-to view the world through the clients eyes, congruence-to be completely honest with the client and Unconditional positive regard-to be completely accepting of the client. This approach has both client and counsellor as equal partners in the therapeutic relationship. The Counsellor is not the expert on how the client feels.